Updated: Mar 8, 2018
All my fears come down to the fear of not being loved…or so I thought
Before I decided to write this series, I contemplated writing a post on what my biggest (known) fear was, the core fear behind and underneath all my other fears. This would be the logical place to start, right? Why bother with all the things I have been learning from fear when I can get down to the biggest lesson and be done with it once and for all.
As tempting as it was to do that, I wasn’t ready. Now I am. I am ready to share what my biggest lesson that I am learning from fear is. So let's go!
As I began to type this post, I was sure that my deepest fear was that I was not loved. That I was somehow defective, therefore not worthy of being taken care of. Not worthy of the love, joy and sustenance that this world has to offer.
But what if this wasn't true, and what if this wasn't my deepest fear? It is certainly easy to compile the evidence, to dig up the memories of those harmful things that have happened that convinced me that I was unlovable. And it is easy to point the finger at various people, places and things.
But blaming doesn’t really get to the core of it for me. Don’t get me wrong, at times I have had to face the harm done to me and face the harm I inflicted on others. But underneath all of that is something else. And that is…
The fear of being loved and the fear of loving
As I explore this fear more, I am learning that there is a part of me untouched by all the has happened in this lifetime. That part of me is full of joy, light and love. This part of me has no issue with self or other. Yet how do I live from that part of me, the one that simply loves?
Being in touch with this part of me leads me to even a bigger learning… I am learning that
If I am love, you must be too Many times I have heard that we are all love, we are all one. You most likely have heard that too. It sure sounds wonderful, but at the end of the day, I don’t know it as a truth. I know it intuitively, yet I feel so far away from living it. So that means that the biggest thing I am learning, and need to learn from fear is...
That we are all love There it is, that biggest and deepest thing I am learning from fear. And my sense is that is what has been happening all along. The stories may sound different, but underneath it all, my stories are designed to bring me back to love.
With that, I thank all of you for joining on me on this journey. Writing this series has really has been an enlightening experience for me, one that I have benefited from deeply. My hope is that series has been helpful to you as well.
If you have any comments you wish to share, whether on what I have been learning or your own insights into fear, please leave a comment below or on my Face Book page.
Lastly, if you suffer from fear, depression, anger or anything else of serious concern, please reach out for help. Find a healthcare provider in your area, call a trusted friend or family member, find a support group, say a prayer. Do what you must do to heal. Believe in yourself and have faith that healing is possible. And remember, there are many paths to healing.
Blessings on your journey!